Food Dude

In my tireless pursuit to eat healthy and live a more active lifestyle, I decided to hire a new personal trainer and I was excited to have our first workout together. He texted to meet him at the gym at 5am. First hiccup, no big deal. You have to sacrifice to be fit, like sacrificing sleep and cheeseburgers; shits for real. Our workout began really well and I enjoyed the workouts and this new trainer dude. That is until my old personal trainer walked in the gym and saw me with this strange, fit intruder. Taking it upon himself, my old trainer chased out my new trainer and scolded me for not taking the homemade creatine he gave to me. Then began the workout from hell. Barely being able to walk or lift my arms, I knew I needed a tasty post workout meal after this embarrassing day. So I went to Harumama Noodles and Buns for their out of this world Cucumber Noodle Salad. Fresh noodled Cucumber is just the bed for ingredients like Edamame, Watermelon Radish, Tomatoes and drenched in their amazing Mango Habanero dressing, this Vegan and Gluten free belly buster is not only healthy, crispy and delicious but it is also the only thing I can eat before I black out from the muscle pain. Do a set of 10 curls of this salad into your face today. My trainer patted me on the back for a successful workout and I winced in sheer pain. Maybe we will skip the back workout scheduled for tomorrow. So delicious you’ll work out your jaw for another bout with this salad. at Harumama Noodles and BunsIn my tireless pursuit to eat healthy and live a more active lifestyle, I decided to hire a new personal trainer and I was excited to have our first workout together. He texted to meet him at the gym at 5am. First hiccup, no big deal. You have to sacrifice to be fit, like sacrificing sleep and cheeseburgers; shits for real. Our workout began really well and I enjoyed the workouts and this new trainer dude. That is until my old personal trainer walked in the gym and saw me with this strange, fit intruder. Taking it upon himself, my old trainer chased out my new trainer and scolded me for not taking the homemade creatine he gave to me. Then began the workout from hell. Barely being able to walk or lift my arms, I knew I needed a tasty post workout meal after this embarrassing day. So I went to Harumama Noodles and Buns for their out of this world Cucumber Noodle Salad. Fresh noodled Cucumber is just the bed for ingredients like Edamame, Watermelon Radish, Tomatoes and drenched in their amazing Mango Habanero dressing, this Vegan and Gluten free belly buster is not only healthy, crispy and delicious but it is also the only thing I can eat before I black out from the muscle pain. Do a set of 10 curls of this salad into your face today. My trainer patted me on the back for a successful workout and I winced in sheer pain. Maybe we will skip the back workout scheduled for tomorrow. So delicious you’ll work out your jaw for another bout with this salad. at Harumama Noodles and Buns
Wanting to get back into the game, I decided to go on a Tinder date and it didn’t go as well as I had originally planned. From all accounts, she seemed like a smart and beautiful young woman. She had graduated at the top of her class from Harvard and recently came back from Milan for this modeling/humanitarian campaign. When I arrived at the restaurant, holding the red balloon like “she” instructed me to, I was instead met by a portly, older gentleman who said that, he in fact, was Kristine. I had been cat fished big time. Thing is, I already paid for parking and the goddamn table reservation so me and Dan continued on with the evening. And while he ordered himself a virgin Shirley Temple, I got myself 5 Tequila shots and this Country Style Omelette from Princess Pub & Grille in Little Italy. The only brunch that’s the size of a goddamn kitchen sink, this Country Ham stuffed Omelette is jam packed with Onions, Peppers, Cheese and hanging out with their house made country style Potatoes. This bodacious Breakfast is the best first date food, even on the dates you don’t want to be on. I shook Dan’s hand and let him know there would not be a second date and proceeded to delete my app. They say love is blind but we need to get that motherfucker some glasses or something because this is getting ridiculous. So delicious you’ll make an account on Farmers Only. at Princess Pub & GrilleWanting to get back into the game, I decided to go on a Tinder date and it didn’t go as well as I had originally planned. From all accounts, she seemed like a smart and beautiful young woman. She had graduated at the top of her class from Harvard and recently came back from Milan for this modeling/humanitarian campaign. When I arrived at the restaurant, holding the red balloon like “she” instructed me to, I was instead met by a portly, older gentleman who said that, he in fact, was Kristine. I had been cat fished big time. Thing is, I already paid for parking and the goddamn table reservation so me and Dan continued on with the evening. And while he ordered himself a virgin Shirley Temple, I got myself 5 Tequila shots and this Country Style Omelette from Princess Pub & Grille in Little Italy. The only brunch that’s the size of a goddamn kitchen sink, this Country Ham stuffed Omelette is jam packed with Onions, Peppers, Cheese and hanging out with their house made country style Potatoes. This bodacious Breakfast is the best first date food, even on the dates you don’t want to be on. I shook Dan’s hand and let him know there would not be a second date and proceeded to delete my app. They say love is blind but we need to get that motherfucker some glasses or something because this is getting ridiculous. So delicious you’ll make an account on Farmers Only. at Princess Pub & Grille
It’s finally Friday and everyone is obviously looking forward to the end of the workday when they can eagerly run to their cars and venture into the weekend, and my co workers were no different. Unfortunately, I had to let the team know that we had not met our monthly goals and we would all have to work some OT on this faithful Friday, much to the anger of everyone in the office. I don’t like being the bad guy and I could feel the mood of the office shift so it was up to me to bring everyone’s spirits back up. So I got everyone these Double Double Cheeseburgers and French Fries from In-N-Out Burger. As my belly will tell you, these beautiful burgers are the best ever. 2 fresh beef patties, Onions, Tomatoes, Lettuce and their housemade sauce is top notch but when sharing a stage with fresh cut Fries, you have the best meal around and the only way to avoid getting jumped by your co workers. Have your taste buds work some overtime on this burger today. My co workers were much happier with their bellies stuffed and walked to my office to thank me for the burgers, only to find that I had already went home and made everyone else do the work. I know Monday is going to be shitty but I will let future Reggie worry about that one. So delicious you’ll use your PTO in Flavortown. at In-N-Out BurgerIt’s finally Friday and everyone is obviously looking forward to the end of the workday when they can eagerly run to their cars and venture into the weekend, and my co workers were no different. Unfortunately, I had to let the team know that we had not met our monthly goals and we would all have to work some OT on this faithful Friday, much to the anger of everyone in the office. I don’t like being the bad guy and I could feel the mood of the office shift so it was up to me to bring everyone’s spirits back up. So I got everyone these Double Double Cheeseburgers and French Fries from In-N-Out Burger. As my belly will tell you, these beautiful burgers are the best ever. 2 fresh beef patties, Onions, Tomatoes, Lettuce and their housemade sauce is top notch but when sharing a stage with fresh cut Fries, you have the best meal around and the only way to avoid getting jumped by your co workers. Have your taste buds work some overtime on this burger today. My co workers were much happier with their bellies stuffed and walked to my office to thank me for the burgers, only to find that I had already went home and made everyone else do the work. I know Monday is going to be shitty but I will let future Reggie worry about that one. So delicious you’ll use your PTO in Flavortown. at In-N-Out Burger
After many months of controversy, I was asked to step down from my senior position for our neighborhood watch and although I didn’t initially, I wasn’t going down without a fight. We had been embattled with numerous claims of fraud, misappropriating funds and stealing plastic cups from the lunch room. Suffice to say, we were all down shit creek without a paddle. I had received an ominous phone call from one of the members, offering me a cash reward in exchange for my silence during this matter. I finally had these assholes where I wanted them. I told them to keep the goddamn money, the only thing I want are these amazing Mini Biscuits from The Crack Shack in Little Italy. Although mini in size, they are not mini in taste as these beautiful biscuits are good for breakfast, lunch or dinner. When tag teamed with their tasty Miso Maple Butter, you have one of the best snacks around and the only thing to take when accepting illegal bribes. Execute treason against hunger with these biscuits today. I’ve already received a few offers to write a tell all book for a hefty amount of cash but I have enough biscuits and plastic disposable cups to last a lifetime. I’m good. This must be what Nixon felt like. So delicious you’ll make your belly great again. at The Crack ShackAfter many months of controversy, I was asked to step down from my senior position for our neighborhood watch and although I didn’t initially, I wasn’t going down without a fight. We had been embattled with numerous claims of fraud, misappropriating funds and stealing plastic cups from the lunch room. Suffice to say, we were all down shit creek without a paddle. I had received an ominous phone call from one of the members, offering me a cash reward in exchange for my silence during this matter. I finally had these assholes where I wanted them. I told them to keep the goddamn money, the only thing I want are these amazing Mini Biscuits from The Crack Shack in Little Italy. Although mini in size, they are not mini in taste as these beautiful biscuits are good for breakfast, lunch or dinner. When tag teamed with their tasty Miso Maple Butter, you have one of the best snacks around and the only thing to take when accepting illegal bribes. Execute treason against hunger with these biscuits today. I’ve already received a few offers to write a tell all book for a hefty amount of cash but I have enough biscuits and plastic disposable cups to last a lifetime. I’m good. This must be what Nixon felt like. So delicious you’ll make your belly great again. at The Crack Shack
I was pulled over last night and what started as a routine traffic stop unfortunately became much more than that. The officer asked for my license and insurance, pretty standard bullshit, but on this faithful occasion, I unfortunately left my wallet at the all you can eat buffet and didn’t have it on me. To try and avoid a ticket, I gave the officer my insurance and this Sam’s Meatloaf Taco from Not Not Tacos at the Little Italy Food Hall. Fresh Meatloaf is delicious on its own but when it’s coated in a Chipotle Apricot glaze and paired with fresh Monterey Jack cheese, Sour Cream, Lettuce, Crispy Onion strings and relaxing inside of a fresh Tortilla, you have one of the best Tacos in town and the only thing you need to get out of a ticket with. Arrest your hunger with this must munch today. The officer reminded me that bribing him is a serious crime and could land me in jail. He gave me another chance to do the right thing and avoid trouble. I quickly ate the taco and put my hands out for the cuffs. My parole officer isn’t going to be happy that I got locked up for another food related incident. So delicious you’ll ask your beautiful mother to bail you out of Flavortown Prison. at Little Italy Food HallI was pulled over last night and what started as a routine traffic stop unfortunately became much more than that. The officer asked for my license and insurance, pretty standard bullshit, but on this faithful occasion, I unfortunately left my wallet at the all you can eat buffet and didn’t have it on me. To try and avoid a ticket, I gave the officer my insurance and this Sam’s Meatloaf Taco from Not Not Tacos at the Little Italy Food Hall. Fresh Meatloaf is delicious on its own but when it’s coated in a Chipotle Apricot glaze and paired with fresh Monterey Jack cheese, Sour Cream, Lettuce, Crispy Onion strings and relaxing inside of a fresh Tortilla, you have one of the best Tacos in town and the only thing you need to get out of a ticket with. Arrest your hunger with this must munch today. The officer reminded me that bribing him is a serious crime and could land me in jail. He gave me another chance to do the right thing and avoid trouble. I quickly ate the taco and put my hands out for the cuffs. My parole officer isn’t going to be happy that I got locked up for another food related incident. So delicious you’ll ask your beautiful mother to bail you out of Flavortown Prison. at Little Italy Food Hall
I’ve been working out much more recently and I can already tell a change in my demeanor and behavior. After bombing on a 12 pack of frozen gas station burritos, I would awake the next day and be grumpy, greasy and overall just bummed out. But since I’ve been eating better and lifting everything in sight, I am much happier and have a better outlook on life. So now when I go to put gas in my car and the clerk tells me they have a sale on crusty donuts or nachos, I kindly decline and instead bomb on this Superhero Poke Bowl from Harumama Noodles and Buns in Little Italy. Hands down one of the tastiest things around, this bowl is stuffed to the brim with fresh Salmon, Rice, Avocado, Crab, Watermelon Radish, Tempura crunchy flakes and their house made Pokewan sauce, this healthy and delicious meal is the best alternative to junk food and will get your brain and belly right. Drop that donut and do your cardio by running to Harumama for this protein powered meal today. The gas station clerk wasn’t too happy that I wasn’t buying his expired burritos anymore and threw my change at me in anger. It’s always the homies who are the first to switch up. Keep your enemies close but your Poke bowl closer. So delicious you’ll get charged for expensive ass super premium gas and only use unleaded. at Harumama Noodles and BunsI’ve been working out much more recently and I can already tell a change in my demeanor and behavior. After bombing on a 12 pack of frozen gas station burritos, I would awake the next day and be grumpy, greasy and overall just bummed out. But since I’ve been eating better and lifting everything in sight, I am much happier and have a better outlook on life. So now when I go to put gas in my car and the clerk tells me they have a sale on crusty donuts or nachos, I kindly decline and instead bomb on this Superhero Poke Bowl from Harumama Noodles and Buns in Little Italy. Hands down one of the tastiest things around, this bowl is stuffed to the brim with fresh Salmon, Rice, Avocado, Crab, Watermelon Radish, Tempura crunchy flakes and their house made Pokewan sauce, this healthy and delicious meal is the best alternative to junk food and will get your brain and belly right. Drop that donut and do your cardio by running to Harumama for this protein powered meal today. The gas station clerk wasn’t too happy that I wasn’t buying his expired burritos anymore and threw my change at me in anger. It’s always the homies who are the first to switch up. Keep your enemies close but your Poke bowl closer. So delicious you’ll get charged for expensive ass super premium gas and only use unleaded. at Harumama Noodles and Buns
My friends invited me to brunch this morning and I mentally and physically prepared myself for the mayhem that was about to ensue. When we were younger, brunch was a drunken and wild time usually featuring bottomless mimosas, sloppy dancing and blacking out by 3pm. Ah, the good old times. When I showed up, I had my beer hat ready, inflatable duck floaties on and wearing my “party bitch” t shirt, I was ready to fucking rage. But I was met with sweater vests, dockers and boat shoes. I didn’t get the memo it was a chill brunch evidently. So while I try and deflate my floatie, I needed to start this brunch the right way with this Blazing World Hoppy Amber IPA from Modern Times served proudly at Loading Dock in Little Italy. One of the tastiest beers around is not too heavy, not too light and is absolutely easy to chug or elegantly sip on. Fill up your beer helmet with this bodacious beer today. My friends wanted to take a group photo and I was happy to see they weren’t upset that I showed up looking like an asshole. That is until they asked me to take the picture. Don’t let them see you cry, Reggie. So drunk you’ll trade in your oversized glasses for another beer. at Little Italy's Loading DockMy friends invited me to brunch this morning and I mentally and physically prepared myself for the mayhem that was about to ensue. When we were younger, brunch was a drunken and wild time usually featuring bottomless mimosas, sloppy dancing and blacking out by 3pm. Ah, the good old times. When I showed up, I had my beer hat ready, inflatable duck floaties on and wearing my “party bitch” t shirt, I was ready to fucking rage. But I was met with sweater vests, dockers and boat shoes. I didn’t get the memo it was a chill brunch evidently. So while I try and deflate my floatie, I needed to start this brunch the right way with this Blazing World Hoppy Amber IPA from Modern Times served proudly at Loading Dock in Little Italy. One of the tastiest beers around is not too heavy, not too light and is absolutely easy to chug or elegantly sip on. Fill up your beer helmet with this bodacious beer today. My friends wanted to take a group photo and I was happy to see they weren’t upset that I showed up looking like an asshole. That is until they asked me to take the picture. Don’t let them see you cry, Reggie. So drunk you’ll trade in your oversized glasses for another beer. at Little Italy's Loading Dock
I’ve always prided myself on avoiding controversy and not ending up in the morning newspapers for my food related fiascos but I unfortunately ended up on the front page of the paper this morning and my publicist was not too stoked about it. After going out to the nightclub last night and getting too turnt, I met up with some women and I drunkingly told them the party continued in my hotel room, with plenty of treats for all of us. Not needing to hear any more, they quickly loaded into my soccer mom van and we went on our merry way, only to be met by local law enforcement outside the club who had some questions for me. Supposedly the women were undercover officers doing a prostitution sting and they felt like they were on the verge of making a big arrest. The officer calmly searched my car for any drugs, alcohol, weapons, basically anything at all. The only thing he found was this Local Moco breakfast platter from The Local in Pacific Beach. A juicy 1/3 LB burger patty, fried Spam, sticky Rice and 2 over easy eggs that’s doused in house gravy, this tasty brunch belly buster is the only thing for John’s and all fake prostitutes they hang out with. Incriminate yourself with this delicious breakfast today. The officers un-cuffed me but not before some paparazzi asshole snapped a photo of me in the back of the police cruiser. No charges were filed but no doubt my beautiful mother is going to have some questions on why her youngest son is running around with women of the night and why I didn’t tuck a napkin into my shirt before eating the meal. Glad to see she has her priorities straight. So delicious you’ll be bummed out that the officers took the Local Moco for evidence. at The Local Pacific BeachI’ve always prided myself on avoiding controversy and not ending up in the morning newspapers for my food related fiascos but I unfortunately ended up on the front page of the paper this morning and my publicist was not too stoked about it. After going out to the nightclub last night and getting too turnt, I met up with some women and I drunkingly told them the party continued in my hotel room, with plenty of treats for all of us. Not needing to hear any more, they quickly loaded into my soccer mom van and we went on our merry way, only to be met by local law enforcement outside the club who had some questions for me. Supposedly the women were undercover officers doing a prostitution sting and they felt like they were on the verge of making a big arrest. The officer calmly searched my car for any drugs, alcohol, weapons, basically anything at all. The only thing he found was this Local Moco breakfast platter from The Local in Pacific Beach. A juicy 1/3 LB burger patty, fried Spam, sticky Rice and 2 over easy eggs that’s doused in house gravy, this tasty brunch belly buster is the only thing for John’s and all fake prostitutes they hang out with. Incriminate yourself with this delicious breakfast today. The officers un-cuffed me but not before some paparazzi asshole snapped a photo of me in the back of the police cruiser. No charges were filed but no doubt my beautiful mother is going to have some questions on why her youngest son is running around with women of the night and why I didn’t tuck a napkin into my shirt before eating the meal. Glad to see she has her priorities straight. So delicious you’ll be bummed out that the officers took the Local Moco for evidence. at The Local Pacific Beach
It was a rough morning for me today and it definitely showed as I walked into the office this morning, half asleep and full pissed off. My receptionist, the first person to see me at my absolute worst at times, told me that I had my shirt on backwards, which thinking about it, was difficult as I was wearing a button up. She also pointed out that instead of bringing my normal briefcase, that I must have accidentally grabbed my little niece’s My Little Pony binder set. Fan-fucking-tastic. So while I tried to open her School of Friendship notebook to take some work notes, I was quickly saved by my co worker. She got me this Chocolate Sprinkles Donut from Dunkin’ Donuts. An utterly tasty donut that’s coated in rich milk Chocolate and hella Sprinkles, this delicious pick me up is perfect for tough mornings or if you just want a delicious Donut. Call out sick and go to Flavortown with this sweet treat today. The only thing that goes better with a Donut is Coffee. I poured myself a hot cup of joe and poured milk into it. Or what I thought was regular milk. Apparently, one of my co workers is nursing and, well, you could guess what happened next. Starbucks wouldn’t do this shit to me. So delicious you’ll write a note to yourself to not chase Donuts with breast milk. at Dunkin' DonutsIt was a rough morning for me today and it definitely showed as I walked into the office this morning, half asleep and full pissed off. My receptionist, the first person to see me at my absolute worst at times, told me that I had my shirt on backwards, which thinking about it, was difficult as I was wearing a button up. She also pointed out that instead of bringing my normal briefcase, that I must have accidentally grabbed my little niece’s My Little Pony binder set. Fan-fucking-tastic. So while I tried to open her School of Friendship notebook to take some work notes, I was quickly saved by my co worker. She got me this Chocolate Sprinkles Donut from Dunkin’ Donuts. An utterly tasty donut that’s coated in rich milk Chocolate and hella Sprinkles, this delicious pick me up is perfect for tough mornings or if you just want a delicious Donut. Call out sick and go to Flavortown with this sweet treat today. The only thing that goes better with a Donut is Coffee. I poured myself a hot cup of joe and poured milk into it. Or what I thought was regular milk. Apparently, one of my co workers is nursing and, well, you could guess what happened next. Starbucks wouldn’t do this shit to me. So delicious you’ll write a note to yourself to not chase Donuts with breast milk. at Dunkin' Donuts
While I was grocery shopping the other day, I was approached by this young man who was super stoked to meet me and loved my funny food posts. It absolutely warmed my heart to meet a fan. He went on to tell me how he too wanted to be a food blogger like me and asked for any tips that I could offer him. First tip I offered was don’t do it. Not because it’s not a good idea, but I just don’t need more competition. I feel like the teacher purposely giving the students wrong lessons. So while I told the kid to focus on lip singing videos, he thanked me for the “great” advice and brought me a gift. He gave me this Concha Pan Dulce from Panchita’s Bakery in Barrio Logan. Quite possibly the best Pan Dulce on Earth, this sweet and tasty sugar bread is a Mexican staple and the best dessert for aspiring young content creators. Forget being Insta-famous, be more concerned with your belly and get this Pan today. I quickly inhaled the delish delight and continued my shopping. I know what you’re thinking, how could I purposely ruin that kid for my own advancement. It was pretty easy, I kinda laid it out earlier. What can I say, Conchas make me an asshole. So delicious you’ll see the kid blow up over his Rihanna lip singing videos. at Panchita's Bakery - Barrio LoganWhile I was grocery shopping the other day, I was approached by this young man who was super stoked to meet me and loved my funny food posts. It absolutely warmed my heart to meet a fan. He went on to tell me how he too wanted to be a food blogger like me and asked for any tips that I could offer him. First tip I offered was don’t do it. Not because it’s not a good idea, but I just don’t need more competition. I feel like the teacher purposely giving the students wrong lessons. So while I told the kid to focus on lip singing videos, he thanked me for the “great” advice and brought me a gift. He gave me this Concha Pan Dulce from Panchita’s Bakery in Barrio Logan. Quite possibly the best Pan Dulce on Earth, this sweet and tasty sugar bread is a Mexican staple and the best dessert for aspiring young content creators. Forget being Insta-famous, be more concerned with your belly and get this Pan today. I quickly inhaled the delish delight and continued my shopping. I know what you’re thinking, how could I purposely ruin that kid for my own advancement. It was pretty easy, I kinda laid it out earlier. What can I say, Conchas make me an asshole. So delicious you’ll see the kid blow up over his Rihanna lip singing videos. at Panchita's Bakery - Barrio Logan
I’ve never really considered myself a religious person but I decided I needed to go to church and went to the confession booth because I needed to get something off my chest. The priest said a quick prayer for the both of us and allowed me to tell my story of sin and deceit. Holding back tears, I told him I had hurt a loved one very badly and was afraid that if I didn’t tell someone, that I would hurt more people with my selfish actions. The priest said that if I hurt someone, that I needed to confess it to you know who and I should be forgiven; easy enough. So I told anyone who would listen the story of how I drank my brothers Pineapple Sculpin Beer from Ballast Point in Little Italy. Extremely fresh Beer that tastes like it came straight from a goddamn Pineapple, this fruity and flavorful Beer is easy to drink, easy to chug and the only Beer worth stealing from loved ones. Confess your love for this Beer with a 6’er today. The priest was thoroughly confused and wasn’t sure how to proceed. It wasn’t until he heard me drinking my Beer in the booth that he had enough of my bullshit and sent me on my way. I feel better already, but then again that could be the buzz. So drunk you’ll blame the missing Beer on your youngest niece. at Ballast Point: Little ItalyI’ve never really considered myself a religious person but I decided I needed to go to church and went to the confession booth because I needed to get something off my chest. The priest said a quick prayer for the both of us and allowed me to tell my story of sin and deceit. Holding back tears, I told him I had hurt a loved one very badly and was afraid that if I didn’t tell someone, that I would hurt more people with my selfish actions. The priest said that if I hurt someone, that I needed to confess it to you know who and I should be forgiven; easy enough. So I told anyone who would listen the story of how I drank my brothers Pineapple Sculpin Beer from Ballast Point in Little Italy. Extremely fresh Beer that tastes like it came straight from a goddamn Pineapple, this fruity and flavorful Beer is easy to drink, easy to chug and the only Beer worth stealing from loved ones. Confess your love for this Beer with a 6’er today. The priest was thoroughly confused and wasn’t sure how to proceed. It wasn’t until he heard me drinking my Beer in the booth that he had enough of my bullshit and sent me on my way. I feel better already, but then again that could be the buzz. So drunk you’ll blame the missing Beer on your youngest niece. at Ballast Point: Little Italy
Needing to seek out some serious help, my family took the unprecedented measure of arranging my intervention and made sure all of my closest family and friends were present to support me. It’s been a rough few months for me and my loved ones noticed a change in my behavior and actions, and they knew this wasn’t the normal Reggie. After everyone tearfully read their letters to me, my family finally came forward to say that if I didn’t stop eating this heavenly Fried Chicken from The Crack Shack in Little Italy that I would need to go to rehab. Crazy crunchy Chicken that’s about the size of a goddamn softball, this munchtastic meal is perfect for first timers or hardcore users. Sell your sister’s TV and get this amazing Chicken in your belly today. I wiped tears from my eyes and hugged everyone, promising I would get the wet naps and come clean. I just needed to be excused to the restroom real quick. After about 20 minutes in there, my brother busted the door open and noticed the window left agape. The only sign of me was a Chicken bone that was left behind. I love my family but I’m just not ready to give up my tasty addiction. So delicious you’ll have to find a new plug for stretchy pants. at The Crack ShackNeeding to seek out some serious help, my family took the unprecedented measure of arranging my intervention and made sure all of my closest family and friends were present to support me. It’s been a rough few months for me and my loved ones noticed a change in my behavior and actions, and they knew this wasn’t the normal Reggie. After everyone tearfully read their letters to me, my family finally came forward to say that if I didn’t stop eating this heavenly Fried Chicken from The Crack Shack in Little Italy that I would need to go to rehab. Crazy crunchy Chicken that’s about the size of a goddamn softball, this munchtastic meal is perfect for first timers or hardcore users. Sell your sister’s TV and get this amazing Chicken in your belly today. I wiped tears from my eyes and hugged everyone, promising I would get the wet naps and come clean. I just needed to be excused to the restroom real quick. After about 20 minutes in there, my brother busted the door open and noticed the window left agape. The only sign of me was a Chicken bone that was left behind. I love my family but I’m just not ready to give up my tasty addiction. So delicious you’ll have to find a new plug for stretchy pants. at The Crack Shack
I’ve been saving up for awhile to buy a new car and I finally went car shopping this weekend, full of excitement and ready to leave the lot with a new whip. The sales dude showed me around to a few different models, went over some features of each and I heard out his lame ass sales pitch. I knew what I wanted and wouldn’t settle for less. Forget how many horses are under the hood or blue teeth accessibility, the only thing I want in my car is a special compartment for this super Spicy Watermelon Margarita from El Camino in Little Italy. Any cocktail that’s Don Julio Tequila, fresh Watermelon juice and rimmed with Tajin, you have the best tasting drink around and the perfect accessory to any new vehicle. Food Dude doesn’t endorse drinking and driving, but if you need to take it back home to chug, this would be the perfect car. It wasn’t until the sales guy showed me a Kia that I had to stop him and leave. I kindly pounded my drink, gave him the empty glass and went on my way. Don’t worry, I rode a Bird scooter to the dealership. So drunk you’ll bring the scooter on the bus with you. at El CaminoI’ve been saving up for awhile to buy a new car and I finally went car shopping this weekend, full of excitement and ready to leave the lot with a new whip. The sales dude showed me around to a few different models, went over some features of each and I heard out his lame ass sales pitch. I knew what I wanted and wouldn’t settle for less. Forget how many horses are under the hood or blue teeth accessibility, the only thing I want in my car is a special compartment for this super Spicy Watermelon Margarita from El Camino in Little Italy. Any cocktail that’s Don Julio Tequila, fresh Watermelon juice and rimmed with Tajin, you have the best tasting drink around and the perfect accessory to any new vehicle. Food Dude doesn’t endorse drinking and driving, but if you need to take it back home to chug, this would be the perfect car. It wasn’t until the sales guy showed me a Kia that I had to stop him and leave. I kindly pounded my drink, gave him the empty glass and went on my way. Don’t worry, I rode a Bird scooter to the dealership. So drunk you’ll bring the scooter on the bus with you. at El Camino
A freak heat wave has hit San Diego and us locals are not adjusting to the rise in temperatures very well. For instance, as I walked to the store, I saw some lady watering her lawn and her kids at the same time. Very eco-friendly of her. From people wearing their bathing suits to 7-11 running out of Slurpee at 8am, it was an absolute mess in the city and everyone was really pissed off and miserable. The only salvation in sight for me was this ice cold Sculpin IPA from Ballast Point in Little Italy. Beer was made for hot days like this and you cannot find a better tasting beer than Sculpin IPA. Leave the kids at the pool and come get this bodacious beer today. I went to go and pick up my niece from school and noticed they had a pool on campus. I tossed my car keys to the administrator and jumped in. It’s cool, my niece is in drivers ed now. So drunk you’ll make your niece your permanent Uber driver. at Ballast Point: Little ItalyA freak heat wave has hit San Diego and us locals are not adjusting to the rise in temperatures very well. For instance, as I walked to the store, I saw some lady watering her lawn and her kids at the same time. Very eco-friendly of her. From people wearing their bathing suits to 7-11 running out of Slurpee at 8am, it was an absolute mess in the city and everyone was really pissed off and miserable. The only salvation in sight for me was this ice cold Sculpin IPA from Ballast Point in Little Italy. Beer was made for hot days like this and you cannot find a better tasting beer than Sculpin IPA. Leave the kids at the pool and come get this bodacious beer today. I went to go and pick up my niece from school and noticed they had a pool on campus. I tossed my car keys to the administrator and jumped in. It’s cool, my niece is in drivers ed now. So drunk you’ll make your niece your permanent Uber driver. at Ballast Point: Little Italy
Wanting to read more books, I decided to get myself a library card and I was really excited to explore the hollowed halls of literary adventures and tales. If you’ve ever been to a library, you know there isn’t too many rules but the one big one is shut the fuck up and be dead silent, disruptions are not tolerated. And while browsing cooking books, I got pretty hungry and my stomach let me and the whole library know by growling uncontrollably and abnormally loud. People stared at me like I was goddamn Frankenstein’s monster, and after the librarian threw a few erasers at me, I knew I had to end this fiasco. So I got myself this Philadelphia Sushi Roll from Harumama Noodles and Buns in Little Italy. When you get yourself a Sushi roll that’s jam packed with fresh Salmon, Cream Cheese and Avocado, it’s special. When paired with their super spicy Mayo, you have the best Sushi roll around and the only meal you should bring to the library. Put a bookmark on your hunger today with this super Sushi roll. Stuffed and already have picked out a few books, I went to check out and the librarian wasn’t happy with my shenanigans and decided to cut up my library card. Either please your belly or your brain, I made the right choice today. So delicious you’ll stick to reading the back of cereal boxes. at Harumama Noodles and BunsWanting to read more books, I decided to get myself a library card and I was really excited to explore the hollowed halls of literary adventures and tales. If you’ve ever been to a library, you know there isn’t too many rules but the one big one is shut the fuck up and be dead silent, disruptions are not tolerated. And while browsing cooking books, I got pretty hungry and my stomach let me and the whole library know by growling uncontrollably and abnormally loud. People stared at me like I was goddamn Frankenstein’s monster, and after the librarian threw a few erasers at me, I knew I had to end this fiasco. So I got myself this Philadelphia Sushi Roll from Harumama Noodles and Buns in Little Italy. When you get yourself a Sushi roll that’s jam packed with fresh Salmon, Cream Cheese and Avocado, it’s special. When paired with their super spicy Mayo, you have the best Sushi roll around and the only meal you should bring to the library. Put a bookmark on your hunger today with this super Sushi roll. Stuffed and already have picked out a few books, I went to check out and the librarian wasn’t happy with my shenanigans and decided to cut up my library card. Either please your belly or your brain, I made the right choice today. So delicious you’ll stick to reading the back of cereal boxes. at Harumama Noodles and Buns
My friend revealed to me the huge secret that he was planning on proposing to his longtime girlfriend and admitted that he needed help with finding a unique way to pop the big question. That’s where Food Dude came in. And after about 11 beers, we finally came up with the best idea ever. Well, sorta. I said he should hide the ring inside of this Maple Bacon Donut from Donut Bar in downtown San Diego. When I say the best Donut in San Diego, I ain’t playing around. A fresh donut that’s coated in a delicious Maple glaze and heaped with smoky Bacon, this dessert is basically breakfast and the tastiest thing ever. Make room in your heart for that special someone and make room in your belly for this special donut today. We got everything set up, and right as he reached for the sugary snack and prepared for the proposal, he noticed the Donut was gone. That’s because I mistakingly ate it and thus began the worst night of my life. Not only did I ruin their special night, lose a friend and swallow their engagement ring, but the ambulance driver wouldn’t let me plug in my Pandora on the road to the hospital. Rude ass EMT. So delicious you’ll fall in love all over again with this Donut. at Donut BarMy friend revealed to me the huge secret that he was planning on proposing to his longtime girlfriend and admitted that he needed help with finding a unique way to pop the big question. That’s where Food Dude came in. And after about 11 beers, we finally came up with the best idea ever. Well, sorta. I said he should hide the ring inside of this Maple Bacon Donut from Donut Bar in downtown San Diego. When I say the best Donut in San Diego, I ain’t playing around. A fresh donut that’s coated in a delicious Maple glaze and heaped with smoky Bacon, this dessert is basically breakfast and the tastiest thing ever. Make room in your heart for that special someone and make room in your belly for this special donut today. We got everything set up, and right as he reached for the sugary snack and prepared for the proposal, he noticed the Donut was gone. That’s because I mistakingly ate it and thus began the worst night of my life. Not only did I ruin their special night, lose a friend and swallow their engagement ring, but the ambulance driver wouldn’t let me plug in my Pandora on the road to the hospital. Rude ass EMT. So delicious you’ll fall in love all over again with this Donut. at Donut Bar
I fondly remember when I was in 3rd grade, our teacher gave us a fun assignment and asked the whole class what they wanted to be when they grew up. While most of my classmates wrote down that they wanted to be a doctor, police officer or professional athlete, I went a different and much more tasty route and said I wanted to be a food blogger. And while everyone laughed like it was goddamn showtime at The Apollo, my teacher reassured me that my dreams would come true someday. And while I couldn’t be there for her retirement party, I made sure Ms. Shelton knew how much she meant to me. So I sent her this amazing Cuban Sandwich from Brian’s 24 Restaurant in downtown San Diego. Juicy herb roasted Pork Loin and Hickory Smoked Ham with Swiss cheese, mustard, pickle chips and fried pickles on toasted bread. Served with a bed of fresh Fries, you have a delicious meal and the best Sandwich to retire to. Cash out your teachers pension and buy abunch of these delish delights today. I sent her a nice little card too, in it was a nice reminiscing story and some napkins. This ain’t my first rodeo. So delicious you’ll look to substitute teach at Flavortown Elementary School. at Brian's 24 Restaurant Bar & GrillI fondly remember when I was in 3rd grade, our teacher gave us a fun assignment and asked the whole class what they wanted to be when they grew up. While most of my classmates wrote down that they wanted to be a doctor, police officer or professional athlete, I went a different and much more tasty route and said I wanted to be a food blogger. And while everyone laughed like it was goddamn showtime at The Apollo, my teacher reassured me that my dreams would come true someday. And while I couldn’t be there for her retirement party, I made sure Ms. Shelton knew how much she meant to me. So I sent her this amazing Cuban Sandwich from Brian’s 24 Restaurant in downtown San Diego. Juicy herb roasted Pork Loin and Hickory Smoked Ham with Swiss cheese, mustard, pickle chips and fried pickles on toasted bread. Served with a bed of fresh Fries, you have a delicious meal and the best Sandwich to retire to. Cash out your teachers pension and buy abunch of these delish delights today. I sent her a nice little card too, in it was a nice reminiscing story and some napkins. This ain’t my first rodeo. So delicious you’ll look to substitute teach at Flavortown Elementary School. at Brian's 24 Restaurant Bar & Grill
While I’ve been living the lavish life of a food blogger, I ran into a little bit of a pickle the other day and couldn’t wiggle my way outta this one. See, when my parents sent me off to college some years ago, they were under the impression that I was going to Law School and was on track to be this big time, hot shot lawyer. Nearly 10 years later, no law degree and having spent my scholarship money on stretchy pants, I am not exactly who my parents thought I was. Nonetheless, one of my Dad’s co workers got into some trouble and called me seeking crucial legal advice. He spelled out his situation and pleaded to me on what to do next. In a full blown panic, I just started giving out a mixture of shitty advice and what I’ve picked up from episodes of Law and Order. So while I pray to Sam Waterston that he wins his lawsuit, he thanked me for the enormous amount of “help” and asked how he could ever repay me. Easy defendant dude, get me these Mein Street Chicken Wings from Mein St. Kitchen at the Little Italy Food Hall. Super crunchy Chicken Wings coated in spices and a sweet and zesty orange sauce, these amazing appetizers are perfect for lawyers, judges, bailiffs and dishonest food bloggers. Take a short court recess and get these in your belly today. The guy asked me to accompany him to the courtroom but I told him I had another case to attend to, Brown vs. Flavortown Board of Education. So delicious you’ll plead the fifth when asked to share some Chicken wings. at Little Italy Food HallWhile I’ve been living the lavish life of a food blogger, I ran into a little bit of a pickle the other day and couldn’t wiggle my way outta this one. See, when my parents sent me off to college some years ago, they were under the impression that I was going to Law School and was on track to be this big time, hot shot lawyer. Nearly 10 years later, no law degree and having spent my scholarship money on stretchy pants, I am not exactly who my parents thought I was. Nonetheless, one of my Dad’s co workers got into some trouble and called me seeking crucial legal advice. He spelled out his situation and pleaded to me on what to do next. In a full blown panic, I just started giving out a mixture of shitty advice and what I’ve picked up from episodes of Law and Order. So while I pray to Sam Waterston that he wins his lawsuit, he thanked me for the enormous amount of “help” and asked how he could ever repay me. Easy defendant dude, get me these Mein Street Chicken Wings from Mein St. Kitchen at the Little Italy Food Hall. Super crunchy Chicken Wings coated in spices and a sweet and zesty orange sauce, these amazing appetizers are perfect for lawyers, judges, bailiffs and dishonest food bloggers. Take a short court recess and get these in your belly today. The guy asked me to accompany him to the courtroom but I told him I had another case to attend to, Brown vs. Flavortown Board of Education. So delicious you’ll plead the fifth when asked to share some Chicken wings. at Little Italy Food Hall

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